Where it all began.
Determine your true goals.
Stop putting your self last
Live life on your terms.
My parents were going through a rough divorce because my dad decided it was ok to lie and cheat. At a young age I was shown that men lie and cheat – which is probably why my two serious relationships before my husband, Ashley, ended because they cheated on me.
Manifesting at its worst.
The divorce was really fucking hard for my mum, she had dedicated all her time and energy into making sure her husband and kids were taken care of and now, everything was falling apart.
She went into a really deep depression, fighting suicidal thoughts (and overcoming them), and didn’t really know how to survive her demons while looking after 2 kids, so I took on the role of mother for my younger brother and my mum.
All while going through my hormonal teenage years.
I’m going through high school. I’m losing my virginity. I’m dealing with bullying at school because I was overweight, and no boys liked me.
And if that wasn’t enough, I was sexually assaulted by one of my brothers’ friends while in my own bed.
With everything going on at that time, I didn’t really have any support around the assault, so I had to deal with it myself. And I did. I learnt to forgive the assaulter because that experience helped make me who I am and I’m fucking proud of who I’ve become.
And I learnt to forgive my family for not stepping in because deep down, I knew, they were all doing the best they could.
But that didn’t mean life got better. Actually, it got bad. Really fucking bad.
For me, it all started when I was 14.
My Story
And then, the ‘shift’ moment happened.
One being with my now husband. I know when we first dated back in 2010, he was in a bad place and didn’t want to drag me along, so he did what he thought was the right thing to do at the time and abandoned me at Newcastle train station in NSW (I had come down from QLD to see him). He said he’ll see me around and left. It was over a year before I heard from him.
After things ended with Ashley the first time (my now husband), I spiralled.
I would question my self-worth all the time.
Am I worthy of a very normal, loving family? Am I worthy of having a loyal partner? Am I worthy of having a good job? Am I worthy of having friends who actually like me for who I am and aren’t going to bully me? Am I worthy of having my own family? Am I worthy of having my own money? Am I worthy of being independent?
I became 40 kilos overweight. I was miserable and in another toxic relationship. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I was still living at home and it was such a sad and negative environment to be in.
My boyfriend at the time broke up with me and so I did what any insecure and unhappy girl would do, I decided to go and better myself – for him.
I slammed myself at the gym. I changed my diet drastically. I gave up on becoming a hairdresser (after finally figuring out what I wanted to do) and just got any job that would earn me money and help get me on my feet.
I was in and out of destructive relationships
TRUST IN THE DIVINE TIMING
Live life on your terms
One day at a time and over time, things shifted. I realised I wasn’t doing it for him anymore, I was doing it for me.
Which was a good thing, because it turns out – he was cheating on me anyway.
But what I had learned was that I needed to set boundaries for myself and stick to them. I learnt that I was able to better myself – for me!
Which is when Ashley came back into my life – the second time.
This time I was able to set boundaries within our relationship because I had started to realise my self-worth
But this isn’t a fucking fairy-tale, this is real life.
While things were going strong in my relationship with Ashley, in 2015 I experienced my first ever severe anxiety attack, and I began to have a fear of death because my Nona passed away and I actually felt her passing.
Because I felt that, I freaked out – like oh my god, there’s something wrong with me!
And I started to have this fear of death because I was the one supporting my family through the passing of my Nona, I was the backbone, and it really made me think, fuck, if I was to die, how is everyone going to survive.
I had realised that I was really struggling and challenged with my anxiety. I would become paralysed from the neck down, I had been hospitalised 3 times, and even got to the point where I had to have an EGI done to monitor my heart.
The doctors kept telling me it was just anxiety, but I kept telling myself I was going to die – because that’s what it felt like.
So, I decided to take action and started working with my beautiful naturopath, Saphy.
But I wasn’t an easy sell.
I stayed focused and just kept to my routine.
That’s when I started to take my health seriously.
By doing 3 jobs, all at once (my photography business and 2 retail jobs) and was in severe threat of adrenal fatigue and chronic fatigue. But I didn’t believe her until it all slapped me in the face one day while I was at one of my retail jobs.
Everything emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally just hit me – BAM – at once and the result was an extreme anxiety so bad that I made mum come and pick me up and my manager forced me to take a week off work to do nothing.
And that’s literally what I did. I slept. Ate. Drank. Peed. Slept some more. I had hit exhaustion.
This was serious. I really had to slow the fuck down. It was time to get rid of the things that don’t light my soul up to make room for things that made me happy.
I should go to the gym. I should have a 9 to 5. I should have a house by now because half my friends have already bought a house. I should consider having children. I should have this big wedding because I’m a photographer. I should be living in a new estate. I should have a new car. I literally should all over myself!
I had all these should, should, shoulds and that’s when I realised I wasn’t being my authentic self because I was to busy living in what I call Comparasitis: always comparing myself to other people.
Apparently, I had overworked my entire body
Something needs to fucking change, I’m sick of this.
That’s when I started to listen to my intuition. I started to pay attention to what my mind and body were telling me.
I read books, listened to podcasts, watched YouTube videos, worked with mentors and coaches; Melissa Ambrosini being the catalyst for my mindset transformation – if you haven’t read her book ‘Mastering your Mean Girl,’ put it on your MUST-READ list.
It was the only book I had ever read in a week and it was moments of clarity after moments of clarity! It really helped me to realise that I wasn’t a looney for wanting to believe that there was more.
I had a fire in my belly. I wanted more, and I was going to get it.
I had this belief that if I continued to work on myself every single day, the outcome would be better.
I stayed focused on the day ahead of me rather than the months ahead of me. I had no idea where I was going to be in a year, but I knew that I had what I had in that day and I worked with what I had in that day. I worked with the hours in front of me, not the days ahead of me.
Fuck. That. Shit. No more.
I realised I had been living a life of ‘shoulds’.
DONT LOSE YOUR SELF
Stop putting yourself last
That after years of being told I had an intuitive gift – I was going to embrace that part of me and incorporate it into my everyday life and now coaching business.
I went to a crystal shop and bought my first deck of tarot cards and started paying closer attention to the intuitive messages that were coming through for me.
The spiritual side of me really brought all the pieces of who I am together and made me realise that there is always more to learn and more to do.
It made me ask questions like, ‘how will this make me a better person?’
I started using journaling as a powerful tool in my everyday life, I decided to listen to my intuition and go to a life changing Tony Robbins event and now, I will be a certified NLP practitioner.
My life is so different now. There is so much light and positivity surrounding me. Good things keep happening because I work on myself every day.
I bettered my health and had a miracle baby with my amazing husband. I’m truly living in my essence and putting myself first. Self-love is an everyday thing for me now – it’s helped me to know who I am and fall in love with who I am and my authenticity.
To add another layer to who I am, one day I decided
And it’s only the beginning for me.
So fucking much about how strong I can be and how strong women can be.
It has also taught me that women are ready for change. Women are ready to put their hand up and say I’ve been through a lot and now I’m ready to work on me so that I can have the best fucking life!
I was ready for change and it has made me the happiest I have ever been. And now, I have built this incredible community of women who are ready to learn from their past, let go of the resentment and move forward into their fucking bliss!
My life has taught me
Hi, I’m Rhi and I’m a fucking badass mindset coach ready to shake shit up for you in the best way possible!
Want to know what I offer and how I can help you to become the best version of yourself, click here to organise a chat with me.
WRITTEN BY ME, MADE FOR YOU
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Determine your true goals
